Out of my comfort zone

Let’s talk about how it feels

I hear people all the time encouraging other people to step out of their comfort zone ‘stretch yourself a little’ and making the casual but sweeping statement that ‘it will be good for you’? For me it is not as simple as that, nor do I feel that it is a guaranteed truth, that it will be good for me.

Let’s talk about the body and nervous system through the whole experience. I can only talk about my own sensations so here they are. During the last week I did a new thing, in front of people, for the first time and was well out of my comfort zone. During the weeks running up to that I experienced many states and the ones that were the most impactful at the time were the ones that were most uncomfortable. And there were also these beautiful moments where I felt courageous, like I was stepping into my strength and that felt so clear in my body, well defined, like my borders were more define and my spine more upright. And the encouragement and support I received from people was a wonderful boost to that.

There were other moments when I was preparing, something would go right, or I’d have a great idea and those moments were a joy. A joy in my body, I felt light and expansive and also a sense of ‘wow, I can do anything’. It was like fizzy bubbles in my belly and chest, all warm and delicious. And for a moment I would dance around the kitchen. But I might only get 5 steps and suddenly in one moment an instant tightness would take over my whole body and my mind with it.

Quite fascinating really, first it must be a nervous system response, then the body and then the mind. And in this contraction those delicious bubbles were suddenly fighting for a way to get out and there wasn’t enough room to funnel through from my chest to my throat. Oh God, I was so nauseous. It felt gross, that’s my word for it, gross. It was too much intensity, and I needed it out. That feeling would bring voices of why am I doing this, what if……, what if I am not enough, what if I can’t? And that was really uncomfortable so yes, I was out of my comfort zone, it felt like a free fall at times and it was a big deal. Possibly yes, it was good for me, time will tell.

But the bigger question for me is IF we are going to step out WHAT is it that we need and do we have the tools and resources to make it easier, to allow the tension to dissolve again and again. Or maybe the question before that is can we feel the tension in our bodies, are we aware of it. Also can we feel the expansion (or whatever it is for you). Because only if we feel it can we decide to do something about it. Is it a hot bath, a dance, a walk in nature, to make love or to watch tv? To cook, to listen to a comedy or something deep and meaningful? Who can hear us if we need to be heard?

What do we need and how do we answer that question?